We all have a story...

So, I know you've heard about the Women of Faith conference this weekend and how much we loved it.  It was definitely wonderful to be there with some of the most important people in my life.

 My mother-in-law and I.

Smile pretty!

Like the good ol' days.

There were many speakers but the one I was most excited about was Angie Smith.  I was like a teenage girl at a Justin Beiber concert as I waited for her to go on stage.  She is an amazing woman of God that I have loved for the past three years after hearing the story of her daughter that was "incompatible with life".  If you haven't done so already, you should check out her story (under the tab "Audrey's Story").  INCREDIBLE.

She's so raw and real and is the epitome of what it means to lean on Christ during the storm.  She is open about her struggles and you feel her pain along with her.  I feel like I know her, as do many other woman across the country.

The best picture I could get of Angie, down by the ledge signing a book with her husband (Todd Smith of Selah). 

Besides Angie's portion of the conference, each speaker touched me in one way or another.  Luci Swindoll talked about her life and the adventure it's been.  She never married or had children but that has NOT held her back from God's blessings.  She talked about how we should pursue our God-given dreams and when someone asks us why we did, we can simply say, "Because no one told me I couldn't".  It was a beautiful story of a rich and abundant life, of living in the moment and appreciating every step along the way.  I hope that when I am her age, I can be even a little like her and look back on my life with pride and contentment.

Luci speaking.

Wells Fargo was packed!

The amazing worship team.

There was story after story of God's power in the midst of hardship, His love in the midst of pain and His redemption of tragedy.  I tell you what, if I was given the chance to stand in front of 5,000 women and talk about my Lord and Savior, I would make sure they know all that He has brought me OUT of, and the abundant life He has lead me IN to.

My relationship with Him is not a figment of my imagination and I could share time after time of His unfailing love just in my own life.  If you knew me before I became a Christian in high school, you will know I am a different person than I used to be.  He has brought me out of such dark places that I never could have walked alone.  Of course, I still have struggles like everyone else, but they aren't the same as they used to be. I am fulfilling my purpose in this World and have a life better than I could have ever dreamed.

Maybe someday soon, I will share my story more in depth with you.  But watching all these amazing women at WOF talk about the highs and lows of their faith-walk was so inspiring and encouraging to me. I could relate to so many of them.  I too, have a story to tell, that has shaped who I am and has brought such joy and fulfillment to my life.

Bring the Rain

Summer of 2009 I found myself sitting in my apartment bawling and belting out the words to MercyMe's song "Bring the Rain". I didn't even understand why.

Let me back up a little. I had heard this song before at a church service a while ago...nothing then seemed to hit a special chord with me. Then, that summer rolled around and I heard it again on 107.1 while I was driving....something was different this time...tears started rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably....when I got home I knew I had to get a hold of that song and listen to it again. I just felt this need and desire to hear it again. And as I listened to it over and over, singing along, resonating with these words in a way I could not comprehend, and praising God, the rain was definitely falling. Down my face.

What is going on?! For those of you that know me well...you know I don't cry that easily. Not because I am hard-hearted or anything like that, I've just always found it hard to cry (in front of others). For example, no matter how much I felt like crying at a movie, somehow the tears just never seemed to flow easily. It was actually always kind of frustrating and embarrassing to me. Thankfully, as I am growing up, I am growing out of whatever reason it was that I found it hard to cry in front of others. But STILL. This was something I had never experienced before...this strong urge to bawl my eyes out. And although some of you may be thinking "well, Hannah...it's not THAT strange because you WERE alone...there wasn't anyone around you to make you feel embarrassed". Well, in a sense that's true, but in fact I was very much NOT alone. The very reason I was experiencing this tide of emotion was because of someone's presence. His very strong presence.

Here are the lyrics of the song. I want you to read through them before I go on to further explain my story. In bold are the words that really tugged at my heartstrings when I listened to them.

"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty"
--Bring the Rain by MercyMe

Wanna know what was in store for me within 2010?

Just a few months later in September my sister found out the baby she was carrying would be born with a cleft lip. With that came many uncertainties of what other health issues he may have or what his future may hold. In February Sully was born. I received a terrifying call from my mom that they were having to do an emergency c-section because of a prolapsed cord and they were hoping to get him out in time. Thankfully, everything ended up being ok. However, since then, the poor little guy and his family have gone through so much. He had a severe cleft lip and pallatte. They were told he only had 20% vision. He started having seizures. Parts of his brain are underdeveloped. He was throwing up all of the time, which resulted in many months later having a Nissen Wrap procedure done (where they wrap part of the stomach around the esophagus making it so that he can never throw up again). This is just the start folks.

My grandpa passed away. He was the first person that I've been close to that has died.

Eric's grandma passed away. Also one of the first people he's been closest to that's passed away.

Some close friends of both Eric and my sister-in-law were killed.

We found out that my mother-in-law had breast cancer.

Wow. Do you think God was preparing me, or what? I did not understand then why I had felt His presence so much during that song and why those words seemed to touch me so deeply. Looking back now I can see why. I understand why I was brought to tears when I heard and sang the lyrics "bring me anything that brings you glory".

I know some of you may be wondering....how can any of those awful things bring God glory?

Well...what if I told you that the amazing faith of my sister and brother-in-law through their experiences with Sully have given many people encouragement and renewed faith? Sully himself has shown God's miraculous love and has brought so much joy to our lives.

Or that the death of my grandpa brought family relationships together, allowed us to have deep conversations with him before he went to be with the Lord, and allowed us to have other God-glorifying conversations with various people?

Or that the death of Eric's grandma also brought family together, and gave Eric's dad a beautiful opportunity to share the love of God to everyone at her funeral?

Or that one of Eric and my sister-in-law's friends that passed away was an AMAZING man filled with God's love and that over 1,000 people attended his funeral and people came to know the Lord through even his obituary?

Or that my mother-in-law has been able to experience God's love more deeply through the emotional and physical pain of cancer?

And that's not even all of the glory that came with the rain. :)

2010 has proven to be one of the most trial-filled years in my life thus far. But through it all, because of the presence and deep love of my sweet Savior, I have been able to say with joy and peace (and tear-filled eyes), "Jesus bring the rain".

P.S. Do you have any stories to share of God's love, grace, glory, presence, etc? Please share--we would love to hear!!

Opinion Overload

I’ve recently been doing a lot of exploring and question-asking when it comes to providing healthy meals for our little family.  I want to do what I can to make sure I buy nutritious food but sometimes, knowing what is and what isn’t healthy, ain’t always so easy.  There are differing opinions out there (Is aspartame cancer-causing?  Do we need to buy all natural foods every time?) and not everyone has the time to make everything from scratch or the money to buy all organic.  Obviously, McDonald’s everyday isn’t healthy but how far should I go?  What’s a girl to do?

This year, I have learned I have a Personable Decision Making Style.  I like to talk to my friends and family when I am faced with a decision to see what they have decided in certain areas of their lives and how it’s effecting them.  If I feel their plans fit our values and families lifestyle, I may try them out.  It’s easier for me to talk to a bunch of like-minded moms about things than reading 70 books from the library.  I also make decisions best when I talk about them.  Can any women out there relate?  I know 29% of you can!

My friends and I talk about diet pop, preservatives in foods, eating organic, purchasing meat without hormones etc.  I want to hear their opinions and thoughts. Usually I walk away with waaaay too many ideas swirling around in my head though. I have a problem with wanting to gain information from people and then not being able to discern what I think.

I don’t believe there is anything wrong with adopting other’s opinions and habits if they will be good for my family; God gave us relationships and friendships so we can influence each other and help each other live better.  But there’s danger in this situation when I go overboard and allow others to be my primary “compass” while forgetting who God made ME to be and how His spirit is directing me and my family.  

So back to the healthy-eating thing. My main problem was that a lot these sources contradicted, so I was left very confused.  How do I know what I should choose to do?  What if God didn’t design me to follow any of the plans or these philosophies? 

I go to God and He convicts my heart in a certain way but I don’t hear Him among the dozens of voices I let in.  All because I am afraid I am not hearing Him correctly or I don’t trust that He will make His will known if I am humbly asking for His guidance.  He isn’t tricky, He wants us to know His plan and our confusion doesn't come from Him.  I just have a bad way of making things too complicated.

Contrary to a very popular belief- knowledge is NOT always power.  Sometimes the more you know, the less you REALLY know.  In a world with billions of opinions and answers and trends, there is only ONE voice that has the perfect answer for Rachel Lauren.  First I must call on God's word, then the personal convictions and opinions He's given me. It’s OK to look at others around us and model ourselves after them if they are glorifying God, but He must be the foremost authority.

Now does anyone have any opinions on how I can remember that everyday;)

I love personality quizzes- take this one to find out what decision making style you have. Let us know what you find out!

take the grinch out of your life

this past weekend, hannah and i attended an event at valley e-free church called The Basket Bash. This event is put on every year by the women's ministries and draws hundreds and hundreds of women together to shop, eat, drink, mingle and enjoy a truly inspirational speaker. my mom and i have made it a tradition every year to go together, as well as hannah and her mom and sister. it's a great chance for moms and daughters to do something special together. and what woman doesn't like to shop, eat or chitchat?

you may be wondering why it's called "the basket bash"....no, nobody is taking a sledge hammer to any wicker storage devices (although that really sounds invigorating!). after purchasing a ticket to the event, you come with some cash in hand in exchange for some tickets. one ticket = one dollar. the tickets serve as your money as you "shop" the halls of valley church. here's where the basket part comes into play: the first step is to purchase your basket. one ticket for a small, two for a medium and three for a large. there is an assortment of holiday themed baskets, all ready to be filled with gifts for a special lady (or man!) on your christmas list.

tables line the foyer of the church and each has a different theme. there was a "hot drink" themed table with various coffee mugs for sale and beverages to fill it with such as chai, gourmet coffee, hot tea and hot chocolate. next was a "candy table" with festive cellophane bags and a variety of candy to give to that friend with a sweet tooth. and my personal favorite - the bath and body table. this is usually the table that's buried behind a crowd of women on a mad hunt for another bottle of frosted orange spice hand foam. the products are actually from Bath and Body Works and are sold at a steal of a price...three tickets! three bucks is an awesome deal, since things like soap and lotion are usually sold in the store for five or more dollars. and with this economy, a couple dollars go a long way:)
these are just a sample of the different types of table themes. there were also things like stationary, note cards, sticky note pads, candles, picture frames, hand-dipped pretzels, caramel apples...and so on. basically a smorgasbord of stocking stuffer type gifts. each gift ranges from one to three tickets in which there is a friendly, valley church volunteer, who is manning the table and will exchange your tickets for a gift.

once your basket is filled to the brim, you can head on over to the chapel, to top your basket off with some sweet treats. inside the chapel there are more tables waiting for some serious cookie decorating. sugar cookies, sprinkles and loads of frosting are spread out on each of the tables, ready for some creative cookie embellishing.

the last step is to complete the look of your basket. holiday tissue paper, basket filler (little strips of paper to place in the bottom to keep things in place...is there a name for this?), embellishments, ribbon and a cellophane sack are all provided to make one killer looking gift. so pretty, in fact, that you don't even have to put it in a gift bag....just wait until december 24th to place it under the tree, unless you want sneaky, peeking eyes to wander:)

after grabbing a complementary hot beverage, it's time to head into the sanctuary for brunch, door prizes and a speaker.my group scrambled (yes, scrambled! there were 350 women there!) to get a table together and once we were all inside the doors, we had a chance to marvel at the decor. the ladies that put this together didn't miss a beat. from floor to ceiling, there was fancy, holiday cheer. this year's theme was "how the grinch stole christmas", so there were bright pinks, blues and greens that filled the sanctuary. everything was adorned down to the toothpick that was holding the pickle on our plates. the menu was delicious! we dined on chicken
salad croissants, cranberry white cheddar cheese slices, grapes and pistachio salad. and homemade cake balls for dessert...still dreaming of those:)


while we ate, the folks of "who-ville" announced the winners of the door prizes. yep, the grinch, the mayor of who-ville and his wife were all there! they were all in character and quite realistic, i might add.

on to the door prizes. let me just say that these are not just your typical, measly door prizes. we're talkin' stuff like a pottery barn serving tray, a $50 gift card to Wellspring and tickets to the Women of Faith Conference! No winners at my table though:(

the last portion of the basket bash, is the main event. this year, the speaker was Thelma Wells, also affectionately known as, mama T. Thelma is an international speaker, author, wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. she was the first african american woman to be a core speaker for the Women of Faith Tour and has quite the background. learn more about thelma here.

to go along with the grinch theme, thelma soulfully spoke about how to "get the grinch out" of our lives. she gave us a glimpse of the abusive childhood that she endured and how she clung to God's promise, even as a child. thelma's grandmother used to lock her in a dark, rat infested closet for hours. she would sing hymns to herself and to this day, she feels no bitterness toward the abusive people in her life. she also spoke of her wayward son, who pushed God out of his life and for 30 years, thelma prayed that he would learn to love God again. she excitedly told us, that her prayers had been answered and her son had given his life back to God.

she challenged us to get the "grinch" out of our lives. anything negative or harmful that may be getting in between a relationship with our Savior must be put to rest. whether that be resentment, addiction, doubt or any other sin of this world. we all have it and we all struggle with it. give it up to God. and though that may sound easier said, than done, releasing those battles to God will give you peace and contentment in your life.

overall, the basket bash was a morning well spent:) i shopped, i ate, i learned and i prayed. and i betcha the women's ministry of valley church is already planning for next year's basket bash...maybe i'll see you there!

something to think about: what is the "grinch" in your life? God wants you to lay these burdens on Him. are you ready to give them up?


here are a few pics..enjoy!

fancy center piece

just a couple of wonder women

some of the madness

basket bashers

the chapel - where the cookie making was happening.

the beautiful table!

the stage

some tasty eats

homemade cake balls with a sweet, little ornament to take home.

me and my mama!

they thought of everything...even the toothpick in the pickle!:)

Holy Smokes!

I have read the blog Bring the Rain for almost 3 years now.  Around my house, I'm on a first name basis with Angie (though she doesn't know I exist) as she is someone I talk about regularly.  Her blog has impacted me in many ways.  If you've never read it, I suggest you start from the beginning.  It's one of the most poignant stories of God's love in the midst of grief and she writes it so well.  In fact, she now has a book chronicling her difficult yet beautiful story.

Anyway, I was catching up on her blog just now and saw she will be speaking at the Women of Faith conferences in the spring.  And after I clicked on the link- I was shocked to see she will be in Des Moines!!  I feel like I've been to coffee with Angie hundreds of times and can't wait to be in the same room as her!  I have never wanted to go to a conference so badly.  Anyone else in?!?