I have a friend...

that I have been thinking of lately.

Whenever I'm sick for more than a few days in a row, there's one person that always comes to mind, mainly because I know she's fully aware of what it's like to feel crummy day in and day out. She's one of my (and Hannah and Maggie's) very very good friends, Marissa.

Marissa and I have known each other since junior high and took art classes together in high school. We were friends but didn't really hang out much outside of school. All that changed in college. After I transferred to ISU, Marissa and I got to know each other really well. She was at a hard place in her life and we bonded over similar experiences and looooong conversations. She's my friend that's a good listener, good advice-giver and great encourager. I can always count on her for prayer and she's ALWAYS there when I need her. She's the complete package and I couldn't miss her more now that she lives all the way in Texas. 

As you can see, I love her very much and it pains me to see the trials she has had to face over the past few years. While I know she would say God has blessed her immensely (she has a wonderful husband, a job she loves, a beautiful place to call home etc.) she has been in constant pain for the past, I don't know, two years? After a loooong time with no answers, the doctors have finally said they believe she has Fibromyalgia.

Most women who develop this disorder are in there 40's or 50's, not their 20's. It can be a very debilitating problem that can really disrupt your everyday life. For Marissa, she rarely has a day where something doesn't hurt or ache. When she's not at work, she spends a lot of her time in bed trying to rest and sleep.

It's hard to see a wonderful friend at such a prime point in her life suffer from so much. We've had many conversations on the phone and though I always have hope God will heal her, it just doesn't seem fair. Her and Nick should still be living out the Honeymoon phase of their marriage but instead, their nights and days are far from the smell of the ocean and the sway of palm trees. There are days when it's better and they are able to venture out together and days Marissa just stays in bed. 

I have been thinking about her a lot lately as I have been feeling so sick with the pregnancy. For Jared and I, when I'm not on the up and up, it throws our world into chaos. But no matter how hard each day is for us, I know this will end soon. For Marissa and Nick, there is no "for sure" date when Marissa's life will be pain-free. I try to be there to give her a pep-talk or two when she's feeling down, but more often than not, she holds her head high and believes in a God that has a plan for her life, with or without Fibro.

This is not a blind belief, as we've both seen God do miracles in our own lives and know He can do it again. We both know He has Marissa and her future in the palm of His hand.

I know the symptoms of this disorder are exhausting and I am thankful Marissa has such a hardworking and loving husband. Nick willingly takes care of Marissa and doesn't complain. I know he is her rock and his love is a huge blessing from God in this time. They go perfectly together, and just like the vows say, he has proven he will stand by her in sickness and health.

I guess I'm writing this because it's on my heart and I wanted her to know I was thinking about her today. I was trying to imagine what life would be like in her shoes and just a fraction of that understanding was enough to make me tear up. I'm sharing this because I know she appreciates our love and support in the hard times. When you live in pain constantly, it's really easy to get down, and encouraging friends can make a huge difference.

You can read more about her and Nick at her blog: http://nicholasandmarissa.blogspot.com/. Make sure to tell her you're thinking about her.

I love you, M, and though God has brought us through a lot of similar circumstances, this is one I don't know personally. I wish I could understand better, I wish I could take it away from you. But for now, I will walk hand in hand with you until you are pain free, no matter when that day comes. As you have said, God will bring good out of this and I believe that with all my heart as well.

Prayers for Sully

Remember this post about the trials of 2010? Well, we're still in need for prayers for Sullyboy (this is what Ollie--his 4 yr old brother--started calling him and so now it's stuck with the whole family). :)

For those of you who haven't read the other post yet, Sully is my sweet nephew and has had a whirlwind of health complications from the beginning.

On Thursday Sully had surgery #5. Here is the list of his surgeries (keep in mind he just turned 1 in February):
#1 Cleft Lip
#2 G-tube
#3 Nissen Wrap
#4 Cleft Palate
#5 Hiatal Hernia

When the doctors went in to fix the hernia they said that 1/3 of his stomach was up in his chest cavity. When the surgeon removed it the anesthesiologist said, "what did you do?!" (scaring the surgeon!), but the reason he asked is because when it was pulled back down Sully's stats improved greatly. Also, three out of the four stitches of his Nissen Wrap (the surgery completed to prevent him from throwing up) had come undone and one was hanging on by a thread. So, they redid the Nissen Wrap while they were in there for the hernia. The surgery went well and Sully is back to his cute smiley self.

However, we had hoped and prayed that fixing the hernia would prevent him from gagging. The reason Sully got the Nissen Wrap surgery in the first place was because he was throwing up all the time due to bad acid reflux and a high gag reflux. Basically what they do is wrap part of the stomach around the esophagus to prevent the individual from throwing up. There are a lot of kids and even adults that have the surgery and do fine. However, with his bad gagging, Sully basically blew through the surgery and it's probably also what caused the hernia as well. 

As a family we are at our wits end in knowing what to do. Sully is still gagging and so fear of something happening again is very present. He can't just keep having surgery after surgery. We are in need of some major prayers being lifted up for Sullyboy. Pray for healing, peace and comfort for family especially for his mommy, daddy, and big brother, knowledge for the doctors, etc. Please pray for this sweet little boy...

...how could you not?

He has brought such joy to our lives and reminded us of God's greatness. We might not understand why things are the way they are but we have faith that God has used and will continue to use him for His glory.

Love you so much, Sullyboy.

P.S. Any encouraging comments appreciated!!

Nudges and Tugs

I am in need of some prayer.

I am at a crossroads in my life...I can just feel it. The problem is I don't know what that is or what it means. I can feel a change coming...like as if in the distance of this road of life I can see multiple signs pointing in all different directions--a point in the road in which I will need to decide which turn I will take next. I am still too far away to see what any of the signs say, and I have no idea where any of them lead. Knowing it's coming and not knowing anything else makes me uneasy...excited, but uneasy.

This makes praying difficult. How do you go about praying for something that you don't quite understand or even have a hint of a clue about what's going on? Hmm...ok, I feel ya, Lord...I feel your nudging. Or tugging. This way or that? I know you're wanting me to move, but where? How? When?

I am so thankful to know that I can count on the love of those around me for prayer. I am so thankful for my family, friends, and fellow believers--to know that when I ask for prayer that I can have the confidence in knowing that I am being lifted up by them. Did you know that even the Holy Spirit prays for you? I've been reading about it in Francis Chan's book, "The Forgotten God". Check it out:

Romans 8:26  "And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words." NLT

Wow. How cool is that? Other versions say that the Holy Spirit "intercedes" for us instead of "prays". How comforting and mysterious is this-- that the Holy Spirit is interceding on my behalf...

Rachel bought Maggie and I a copy of the fabulous book she's been reading on prayer. (What a sweet and awesome friend, huh?!) I've started it and can't wait to continue reading it. Father, teach me to learn to pray for the things I don't understand. To learn to pray when I have no clue where to start. When I can feel your tender nudges and tugs but don't quite grasp exactly where/what you are leading me to.

P.S. How do you go about praying when you feel the nudges and tugs of our sweet Savior?

Why ONE New Year's resolution is all I need...

A few months ago, I checked out the book The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer from the library. At that time, I was feeling a tug to be a woman who prayed more and I wanted to find a book that could help me in this area of my faith. Sadly, the renew option on my account reached its limit and I had to return it today BUT I loved it so much I bought one to keep:)

This book is full of so.much.good info on prayer.

As soon as I started reading Simple Prayer, I realized it was JUST what I needed. Every chapter is full of awesome encouragement-- it's hard NOT to pray after you read this book. I'd never realized all the lies I was believing about prayer; like that you don't have to sit for 3 hours everyday in solitary confinement praying to be good enough for God (not that I literally thought this, but you get what I mean). You don't have to talk in fancy language, have all your "stuff" together before you pray or tip-toe around what you REALLY want to talk to God about.

Back cover

This book changed my life and my perspective on prayer. It got me wanting to pray all the time for everyone. And it got me really close to my friend, the Post It Note:

See, I told you I loved this book. I don't think I've EVER even come CLOSE to that many notes in a book. :)

God has impacted my prayer life in a big way. I have been challenged to take my prayers to the next level-- to be bold and to pray often throughout my day and to shift the focus of my prayers from myself to others. Prayer is not about a boring doldrum of half-hearted requests of God. It's about a vibrant, active & exciting conversation with a loving Father. I have more joy and peace when I pray and it sets the tone for my entire day. Plus, God hears my prayers and has done, and will continue to do, amazing things with them.

John 16:23-24 

In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

I've always believed in prayer, I've seen it do amazing things in my life. But I'm truly sad to say that despite these amazing outcomes, I still wasn’t putting enough of my heart into prayer. So many times, I would feel at a dead end, or lost about what to do and prayer was my last resort. Why am I like that when I know the incredible weapon we have in prayer? Now, I understand more than ever the impact even one prayer can make. No other force in the universe is more powerful than God and we can access all his power when we simply pray. It's an incredible feeling.

So, all of this reading and growing was happening around the end of the year when everyone starts thinking about their New Year's resolutions. I could name many resolutions for 2011 about being more patient, finding more time to enjoy myself and living healthier this year but those things wouldn't even come close to what God would have for these areas of my life without prayer. All the times I think to myself, "I wish there was something I could do to help that person", or "how am I going to get out of this mess", or "God, what are you asking me to do here?!" can be answered if I would simply pray. 

Like I said, I've loved and believed in prayer and have seen it change me, do beautiful things in my life and help the live's of those around me.  Now though, I understand it in a whole new way.  I am excited to see how God "meets me" this year and how He chooses to use my prayers for His glory.  I am so thankful He is a God that loves us no matter what and waits expectantly to listen to our prayers.